Walking on Eggshells: Discovering Strength and Courage Amid Chaos by Chapman Lyssa

Author:Chapman, Lyssa [Chapman, Lyssa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books
Published: 2013-05-07T05:00:00+00:00

Eleven

★

Babyhood

I am so grateful for the faith I have now, so grateful for God’s love. And I love raising my children by God’s word. Abbie and Mady regularly attend Sunday school and on Friday nights Abbie goes to A.W.A.N.A. club at our local church. A.W.A.N.A. is a great organization that helps churches and parents work together to develop spiritually strong children and youth. My girls and I say our prayers every night before we go to bed, and we bless all of our family members and friends. I am so happy that the love of God runs pure through my little family each day.

It used to be that I was so wrapped up in the drama of my life that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I had no idea how far off track I was. I should have been enjoying my high school years, but I was a long way from that. I also was a long way from my days as a member of Pastor Jeremiah’s congregation and from the times when we’d sit as a family and listen as Dad read us Bible stories.

So where was God in my life? The real question should be where was I with God? I’m sorry to say I didn’t give Him much thought then, although I can look back and see that He was protecting me. As bad as events in my life were, if God had not been there, life could have been much worse. If He hadn’t been there, I’m not sure I would have survived the next few years. I do not know why these things have happened to me, but I do know that because I went through them—and survived them—it has given me a great deal of drive to prevent the same experiences from happening to other girls.

★

Somehow I knew that three ideal things for an expectant mom to have during her pregnancy were peace, love, and support. I didn’t have much of any of that. First was the question of the baby’s father. My mother and John asked me several times if Brendan was the dad. I still didn’t want Brendan to get in trouble, so I said no, but I think by then that everyone knew he was. When I finally told the truth, my mother got so mad that she again threw me out of the house.

By this time I was more than seven months pregnant. I had done a lot of research online about what was going on inside my body and how the baby was developing. Once I educated myself in this area I knew I could never give my baby up. In addition to understanding on a whole new level that my baby was a real person growing inside me, I had fallen completely in love with my unborn child.

The decision to keep my baby was the first “adult” decision I ever made. It seemed as if all of the adults in my life had already decided that I was going to give up the baby, but this decision was one I could control.

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